Tuesday, 9 August 2016

The elephant in the room

I've read a lot of lists of what not to say to infertile people over the last few years but one I heard on Sunday really takes the biscuit for me...

We had our parents over for lunch and my mother in law was telling my mum about her sister who invites her whole extended family to dinner every Sunday (grandkids, kids, partners etc). She said how it was different for her because none of her children were married...well, at that we all burst out laughing given that her son and daughter in law were sitting across from her! It was funny and not an uncommon faux pas for her to make (in the most loving way possible, she's a little ditzy!)

However, she proceeded to correct herself by clarifying that she meant she has no grandchildren so we're not really....and then trailed off. M laughed again and said "so we're not really married?!" This is of course not what she meant and she would in no way want to cause any offence. Argh...the pain of that throwaway remark....that fact! I had to stare into my plate of food for about a minute before my eyes cleared enough and the lump disappeared from my throat. For what felt like an eternity it felt like (to me only I'm sure) there was a giant elephant in the room!

I wish we could give her a grandchild and I wish we could give my parents one (or two but let's not get greedy!) more. All we can do is hope, hope, hope. In the meantime, I'm still waiting for the elephant that only I can see, to leave the room!

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